my freedom on the horizon

I AM FREE!!!!!!!! FREEDOM IS MINE!!! I AM ALIVE, I AM ME, AND I AM FREE!!!! OH MY GOOOOOODNEESSSSSS!

i just deleted at least 2500 emails!!! emails that held so many promises, so many hopes, so many reminders of me being dropped, of the ends, of evaporations. but now, i can get out of there, of that rocky past imprinted in emails from october to june, and start living here, cuz its a new day from NOW on!

thank you to seth!!! WHOOO HOOO! he gets the credit! the credit for encouraging me to delete them, move on from my past, not just dig deeper in my little ditch, but work my way out!!! i thank him for helping me along, reread some and delete them all, all as i was weeping and sobbing and falling apart..

but do y'all know what this means?!?!

all of that from before, all of that not being able to forgive, not being able to forget, move on at all, all of that being stuck wallowing in my past, well all that is being ended slowly but surely. this was the first step, deleting all the crap that was back there, in its physical form, was so empowering, it was the first step i've taken upwards in a really long time. and getting rid all of that bahookie that was holding me down, all of that which is now melting away, all these bonds to my past that are evaporating, directly leads to my freedom!

and I'M doing it! I'M deleting these emails, I'M moving on, I'M cleaning up these wounds, I'M HEALING!!! with the support of my loverly, faithful, glorious, gracious, gracious friends and leaders! and i will be free, and alive, and well.. AND FREE!!! did i mention that already?!!! it don't matter, cuz FREEDOM IS ON THE HORIZON, AND I AM FLYING TOWARDS IT!!! HALLELUJAH!!!