the film has started,
it retells all that i know,
i can recite it
so damn well.
we pass all that was
good, or that i thought was so,
it goes by so fast.
it starts to get worse,
the memories come faster,
clearer and painful.
but i can't cry, now,
no, i can't scream this out loud,
just smile, breaking down.
------------------------------
so much seems missing,
or is that just me, did i
see more than there was?
the script doesn't have
that, but i won't put it there,
cuz you won't listen.
------------------------------
here i start, matching
perfectly with the scene, my
mouth forms the words, now
"i wish you were gone,
now that you truly left me,
i wish you were out
of my life. to me
it seems, you honestly are,
how else could you have
done that? done that.. you
hurt me, hurt me, hurt me now,"
how? you stopped caring.
------------------------------
this
movie in my mind,
echoes and fires and lift-offs
passions and pages.
------------------------------
everyone watched, then
with this anticipation,
as i stared and sighed.
i knew what would come.
he held her, he stroked,
he held her hand, kissed her, now,
and then wiped it all
away.
it wasn't just once,
it wasn't just twice now, no,
this happened in time.
and all of it, now
all washed away, taken back,
how could she respond?
i saw it and i
wanted to blast out with words
i would never say.
------------------------------
"oh turn aside, now,
leave me be now, with this black.
faded, jaded black."
and then he left, yes,
left her there, her mind shredded,
her soul torn, her heart
blinking in the shade.
taking in those shadows, that
repeat and replay
what he had done, what
he had been, mumbled to her,
the lies, the lies, now.
------------------------------
and it makes her feel
so bad, now, but why, when she
wants this? doesn't she?
its all so clear, now,
its all so perfectly dead,
why couldn't she see?
its all of it, all
of it now, too much to read,
can't they start over?
no, why would she go
back there, its never good, it
is artificial.
------------------------------
so, she bites,
"and you don't care, now,
and you won't speak my name, no,
i won't let you come.
all i may know now,
is that you are one big lie,
one falsity here.
thats all thats left now,"
theres no picturesque ending,
nothing like she dreamed.
and she did dream.
the credits role on,
our names hiking by, just like
everyone elses.
------------------------------
to the world we are
just names, or words, or numbers,
but i know we were
something once, oh yes,
i used to think as long as
i knew you, and while
you knew me, that was
all we needed. there was that
one night where i felt
one heart beat.
------------------------------
i see our names and
they are sep'rate now, not one.
and the screen goes black.
and i know its done,
know its over with no last
bit of film, because
there is no hope here,
no end to that dream with the
red confetti, now.
it just
runs on with you, then,
walking back down the grunge-filled
alley, you won't turn.
not ever, not now.
------------------------------
i feel no relief
though, and now i must wonder,
when it waters down,
is it what we need,
or more of what we want, now?
and i can't decide
which it truly is
that i am ridding myself
of. do i need you?
now that i don't want
you, now that you are gone. is
this how it goes on?
------------------------------
no, no, no, no, no.
fade away now, fade to black,
get away, get out.
------------------------------
can i just walk out,
close the doors on the theatre
that played my nightmare.
is it really that
easy now, just to leave this?
is there something left
to say, to do, or
anything more i need now,
any more i want?
or is there a whole
new chapter, one i'm hopeless
about? where is this?
what, now?
No comments:
Post a Comment