it seems things last for such short times now, everything is so fleeting and fickle and fast.
it just seems as if there is no space anymore. no space to make mistakes, no space to mend them. everything we do seems threatened with minimal time and space that its impossible to know where things start and where things end. everything is so fidgety, moving constantly. there is little time to pause, for fear of sudden changes, we feel we need to stay on our toes. there seems to be little time to rest assured.
we do not yet know where the boundaries lie, we see only faded lines and we only know that we've passed them once we actually have. by that time it may seem too late. it is so hard to follow.
the assurances given me, promised me... just seem to make me so UNsure.. i just don't know. how can i? how can any of us truly know? i need to.. it has been too long, too much time of me abiding in ignorance, or soaking myself in false beliefs, that i NEED to know, be sure at all times. i know that is asking a lot. i know, and i am sorry.
and i mean, the automatic response would be total trust, right? and i agree 'cept for the fact that some of the people i trust the MOST have.. well not LIED per se, just not told the truth--they didn't say anything at all, just let things slide. so yeah, its just tough. and i wish i could always believe them.. but its just like, not anymore. so i'm stuck just feeling like its all going downhill with one misunderstood look, or one period of indifference.. which kills.
4 comments:
yes it does feel like time has crushed us under its weight soo. there is that tricky thing with trust that i definetly understand. when people trust u but dont tell they might as well not trust u because they cant truly trust someone they cant tell something right? i hope u understood all of that pls tell me u did. well yes time will eventually be our undoing (literally).
no seth, you don't understand. its not that they didn't tell me that they trusted me, it was in my trusting that they trusted me and were gonna tell me when things changed in the relationship but didn't, that i got all messed up. oi seth you are so annoying. "time will be our undoing (literally)." sheesh. tee hee..
srry i was probably no help at all
teehee, yes you werrrrrre.
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