ok.. it was the first day back to school after that glorious restful spring break, and i must say, it wasn't as bad as i was expecting, not at all. i think i was almost ready to go back, oddly enough, missing all the people like mad. i mean sure, it all came tidal-waving back, all the work, all the having to stay in class and focus, but i think i did pretty well with all the stress and nonsense and crap..
in CLASS.
but outside, with the people.. not so much. i was totally freaking out for a good part of the morning, with confusion and awkwardness after seeing people that i have spent so much time with over so much of the break, via electronics, but not physically. it all just added to the "no touchy"ness of the air. it became ok though, eventually, i began to be able to speak understandably again, and i stopped staring and banging my head against stuff.
just chilled and grinned and remembered.
it became pretty good, and smiley, and hopeful. and i mean, instead of treating the knowledge i now have as some virus or foreign object, carefully stepping around the edges of the wide berth i gave it, i can now sort of accept it and take it in, and use it as a bond to make relationships stronger and brighter, y'know? its really good, and since i have sorta adapted back into this atmosphere a bit, i can take it all in and start over in a way, let myself find peace, and a new way of looking at things, let myself build things up..
i'm feeling good again, about all this, hopeful and full of ideas. i feel blessed and open and chipper. i feel strong and able and ready. i am confident, i am bright, i am here.
2 comments:
ok mack i doo hope u feel more comfy with the interaction w/the people and all now that it has been days. what was up w/ that severe spasm of depression this morning.
its amazing how you can feel totally comftorable with someone IMing them and then feel awkward physiclly talking to them
Post a Comment